IKEA - the next episode

Two days later, another phone call from IKEA - this back board (I could not hide the smile that crossed my face, but then the person on the phone could not see it anyway) was to be delivered on September 2, around noon.- Phantastic news! And you managed to put it into the same delivery as the other things? - Which other things? - I tried to explain. In the last week I had become an expert on filing and pulling out different receipts from different days, giving customer service not only the cashier's number, but also the receipt number, I was really proud of myself. - I will check and call you back. - My smile faded, but sure enough he called me back in order to reassure me that everything would be delivered by noon, two pieces. - Hang on, we have different things being delivered. - Well, then you have to call... and the guy hung up, obviously irritated with the complicated task. - Since I had nothing better to do I did call the other number: Hey and good afternoon, welcome to IKEA customer service. In short, what is it that you want. Either say .... I knew the keyword and said it. Pause. Then the familiar female voice: I am sorry, I did not understand you. - I repeated the word only to get the same reply. By now I felt like a victim of 'Candid Camera' and kept shouting: CUSTOMER COMPLAINT!!!! - I am sorry I seem to have difficulty understanding you (who would have guessed!), let me transfer you to the next available representative. Your average waiting time is now more than 5 minutes. -

Finally, a real person on the other end of the line. Hurrah! He again told me that I should trust IKEA, if I had been told that everything would arrive on the same day, so it would. - I gave up, but could not refrain from telling him that the automated announcer did not understand anything one says. His reply: I know, she only understands Swedish right now!

Epilogue: the following day, around noon, the door bell rang - YES, IKEA with all the missing wardrobes, a sideboard and a day bed. - By any chance, do you have a back board, too? - No, sorry - and if they called you about that only yesterday, it is highly unlikely that it will be delivered today - SCREAM! -

But then, two hours later, the door bell rang again and .... IKEA with another packet. - I am here to exchange the broken body of your wardrobe with a new one. - I spent about 10 minutes explaining to him that we were only missing ONE PART of the package, not the whole one. - No problem, let's just open the package and take the back board out. (I wonder who got the incomplete package?)

By the way, that reminds me, I have to call IKEA once more, the side board was broken and they haven't contacted me yet...

More phone calls

I am sure you have shopped at IKEA's before, maybe even requested their delivery service, or set up a date to have the huge pieces of furniture assembled. We have done that before and so we were quite confident about our trips to IKEA and the orders.

And to be honest, we had quite a few pieces, since we desperately needed wardrobes as there are no walk-ins here in Germany. The first delivery was scheduled for August 24, right after our return from Croatia. Andrea did not get hers during our first trip to IKEA, it was out of stock, but two days later we got it AND the friendly person from customer's service managed to have it delivered on the same day as our wardrobe. Well, that's at least what we thought.

So on August 24 there was a knock on the door and I greeted the person joyfully and lead him into Andrea's room. "The little wardrobe will stand here, the big one..." "Lady, we have only got one wardrobe - maybe the other one will come later in the morning with a different crew."

In order not to make that story too long, here is what happened: While the men were assembling our wardrobe, which took them about 3 hours, I was on the phone with IKEA for about 2 1/2 hours, trying go find out what had happened to Andrea's wardrobe. All of a sudden, I knew what was wrong: the address! I had not checked on the correct address when I got the delivery slip, and the item was sent to a completely different customer. To make matters worse, my phone number was wrong, too. - If I could call the delivery persons?- No, no way? - If IKEA could please call them? - No, no way.- If I could get this wardrobe maybe delivered with Stefan's, which was supposed to come on September 2?- Maybe.

Well, IKEA and I spent a lot of time talking with one another, customer service representatives explaining the matter to each other, then again to me, trying to find a solution - and then the next thing happened: the back part of one of the pieces of our wardrobe was missing.

Now this threw customer service completely off balance. They would not accept that it was just one part of a package that was missing, but insisted that it was the whole thing that was not there. I tried to be patient and by the evening, everything seemed to be settled. Somebody would call me the next day and arrange for a new delivery date, and MAYBE everything could be sent in one delivery.

The next day: no phone call from IKEA, so I called them in the afternoon, only to find out that there was nothing in our file with regard to the endless phone calls from the previous day. But somebody would call me back soon and.... ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Two hours later - a phone call to tell me that everything would be in our apartment by September 2. Everything - does that mean two wardrobes and this back board? - Hang on, why are you talking about a back board? - I tried not to scream!

Getting a landline in Munich - a never-ending story!

Ok, here we go - we are settling in. The container arrived at the beginning of August and spilled out its contents. Apart from some over-loaded cupboards and bookshelves, yellowish pillow cases and a broken glass vase that had Werner's gymnastic mat inside instead of wrapped around it for protection and now it is full of splinters and cannot be used any more-, everything seems to be fine. And - I still have not found the ominous melon, but the first bottle of wine ;-)

So, from the day we knew our new address, we contacted Telekom and asked for a homeline. They said they would send us the order confirmation to our temporary address and then they would come and clear the line in the new apartment.

After several days of looking into an empty mailbox, Werner called Telekom again (one of many that were to follow!) and asked them about the confirmation. Well, they had sent it to the new address (very clever, since we had not moved in yet and therefore had no name tag on the mailbox!) and it was returned. But they could look everything up in their computer and thus - no problem, the technician would come on August 4. Finally, the confirmation arrived, but it said the technician would come on August 5? Flexible as we are, what is a day in a lifetime?

Two days later, Werner got a message on his mailbox that we would have our landline on August 5, but if we wanted a technician to come, too, we would have to call them once more. Now, THAT was strange, since we had had a talk with an employee of Telekom two days before where - after a lot of back and forth - we had booked a technician to set up the computers for August 9. And wasn't the technician supposed to come on August 5 anyways? "And by the way, sir, we still do not have any access codes for the internet, nor our new phone number that was supposed to be mailed to us a while ago, couldn't you look that up in your computer?" "I am sorry, we cannot look up anything in the computer, ..." "But the other day, your colleague..." "I am sorry, impossible".

And when asked about the difference in the dates, this employee actually said: "If somebody told you that you that a technician will come, it's true, even if we cannot find it in the computer." Can you believe that??

Of course, nobody was booked for the respective date and after the zillionth call we got it finally figured out: Somebody was bound to come on August 25 - promise! When we returned from our vacation on August 23, we actually found the devices that were needed to set up everything, but there were two wlan-devices and two letters with internet access codes in our mail - isn't that just too much?

But believe it or not: on August 25 the technician from Telekom walked into our apartment

- at the time he was supposed to come

- got the TV working

- got the internet running

- was friendly, competent and efficient

AND: made my day!

Fingerprinting!!!! Fingerprinting???

You won't believe it - but we have to get fingerprinted yet again. No, not in Germany, but in the US. Since we are permanent residents, but don't live permanently in the States right now, we had applied well ahead of our move for a re-entry permit which would guarantee us the possibility to work there. I don't think I will ever do that (unless somebody REALLY wants me), but we thought that it would be nice for the kids to have this opportunity later in their lives. And since we had fought so hard to get the green card, it might be worth keeping it for a bit longer.

Well, we had not heard from the lawyer for quite some time, and now, last week, Werner got an email telling him that all was well on its way and that the fingerprinting could be scheduled. When would we be available?

Werner wrote back that - as we had told them before - we were not planning to come to Austin this year, and could we not do the fingerprinting here in Munich?

Answer: They get this question all the time, unfortunately both Consulates are using different systems, therefore the results are not compatible. If we don't come back within the year, the US might deny our request to keep the green card.

As you know I have been asking myself what happens if customs in America pulls our data. Zillions of fingerprints - which have to match the one we have to give when entering the country?

When I got fingerprinted for my job with the GTHS, I dared to ask this question and the lady looked at me as if I was from another planet and said: "We only keep these fingerprints for about four months - then they are deleted and we need the latest ones, since fingerprints change!"

Now, is there anybody out there who can explain that to me since I had lived under the assumption for 50 years that fingerprints were THE safe identification method to prove who is who -. Or are some people just paranoid?

Finding the right apartment in Munich - the end

So nothing since then - no offers, no phone calls, no emails .... until today, Wednesday, July 21, 5.30 p.m.

"Dear Mr. Lang, I am happy to suggest an apartment to you that will certainly meet your needs! A lovely roof-terrace apartment in a small skyscraper that was built in 2007. Please let me know if you are interested!" I am sure he meant: "Please let me know THAT you are interested."

Well, I am really proud to say that I did not over-react, but sat down and wrote back, telling him (with quite an amount of 'Schadenfreude' on my part) that we had signed a rental contract yesterday for an apartment that was located in the inner city of Munich, in an old building with high ceilings and was quiet and light. "All the best for your future, yours sincerely, Cornelia Lang".

I feel like I deserve a pat on my shoulders. Just like my poor Alzheimer Dad said to me the other day: "I am doing so well, sometimes I pat myself on the right shoulder, sometimes on the left shoulder, and then there are days when I can pat myself on both shoulders because I did extremely well."

Finding the right apartment in Munich, ctd.

Well, I had hoped I would not hear from him again - but there he was, the next day. He had sent a fax to Werner, saying that he might have heard that the height of the ceiling would not be a problem and when would both of us come to look at this apartment again? Werner sent back an email, telling him to stop offering objects that would not meet our profile.

That certainly would do the job, we thought - wouldn't you?

And it was quiet for a couple of days. Meanwhile I was busy with looking at other apartments that were nice, but each of them had one thing missing: too many rooms facing the street, north/south orientation, apt. on the ground-floor, bad floor-plan etc.

But before I could despair - here he was again, 'our' realtor. He called me and asked: "You do have children, don't you?" (As if I had not told him many times...). "Yes". "So a two-bedroom apt. would be too small, right?" "Right." "I am asking because I have such a wonderful two-bedroom apt....." "We need three bedrooms!!!" "And you want to live in an old building, isn't that right?" "It is." "I am asking because there is still that apartment in Untermenzing...."

AAAAAAHRRRR! (I have not heard back from him again since. Please keep your fingers crossed!)

On finding the right apartment in Munich

So, what is different from finding a home here in Germany from finding it in Austin? First of all, agents don't really care that much for their customers, since Munich is such a favorite with so many people that apartments are rented or sold anyway.

On the other hand, there DO exist realtors that try to find something for you - we have/had one of these. To start with, we have a very strict profile with regard to what we want - a 3-bedroom apartment in the inner city area in an old building, rather quiet, light and affordable. Even if that might be hard to get, it's a statement, isn't it?

So there is that one agent who kept calling Werner already in America and offering him JUST THE RIGHT THING, but we never knew where this 'right thing' was located, how big it was and how much it cost.

So when we got here, Werner asked him to call me instead of him (I wonder why??)

I received several phone calls from him, telling me about a wonderful apartment in 'Untermenzing', which is definitely not within the inner city limits. After listening to him, having told him that we really wanted something in the city, I finally gave in and decided to look at the apartment, just in order to be able to tell him that this was NOT what we were looking for.

And it was NOT what we had had in mind - plus, it took me 45 minutes one way to get there. When I told the agent all that, his only response was: "But it's quiet, and you wanted a quiet environment". It was quite useless to point out that we wanted something quiet IN THE CITY - he just would not listen. So I fled ...

Only two days later he called me again, offering me THE deal of all times: an apartment in the city! When asked if it was an old building, he told me: "No, but you wanted something in the city." I hardly managed to hang up because he kept pointing out the wonderful location.

Then I did not hear anything from him for about two weeks - but he had not forgotten about us. He called, told me about his next find and that we would love it - for sure! Before I agreed to look at it, I asked for the address - it was the same apartment he had offered me two weeks ago! And it is located next to the "Mittlerer Ring", a city highway, rather noisy.

Anyway, I met him, looked at it and was immediately sure that I did not like it that much (although, admittedly, the ceilings were quite high. But the closeness to this highway was annoying, something which he kept ignoring, instead he pointed out the greenery:" Don't you feel like living in a park?" A said no, since two trees next to a supermarket don't really make a park, do they?

Finally I got rather obvious: "If you keep showing us objects that do not fit the profile we have given you, don't be disappointed if we don't want them." His answer: "But it's in the city!" So I turned round and left - and thought I had got rid of him for good!